How Do We Do It?

As we approach Mother's Day, I wanted to share with you a post written by my colleague, Stacy Chandler, who writes with me on the News and Observer's Triangle Mom2Mom site.   She's a first-time mom with an  adorable two-year-old daughter. With both of us being former journalists, we love to compare stories on how our lives are very different now.  When I first read this,  I felt that her thoughts truly captured motherhood, and more importantly, the job of being a stay-at-home mom.   I'm so glad she agreed to let me share it with all of you, too. 


I'm being a busy mom this week with very little time to write. My husband turns 46 this weekend so we're celebrating that milestone, and we're also attending spring school functions.  Baby Diva has just five more preschool days, and elementary school gets out June 7 in our county.  I'll be back next week with some travel adventures though, and a look at a great hotel that will make you want to pack your bags for......... Oops! Can't reveal everything.  See you next week!  

A Walk In My Shoes

By: Stacy Chandler

When you meet that special someone and fall in love, you long to hear those "three little words": I love you.

But when you and that special someone settle down and have a kid, and life throws you some giant curveballs that result in you being, unexpectedly, a stay-at-home mom, you long to hear a five-word phrase instead: How do you do it?

I got to hear that sweet phrase, and several variations thereof, quite a lot last weekend, when a freelance assignment took me out of town for the weekend and dad was left home alone with a two-year-old for three days -- for the first time.

Walking in his wife's shoes. Stacy's husband with their daughter

He did great with her, as I knew he would, and he kept her on schedule (inasmuch as a two-year-old has a "schedule") and happy and fed. There were no reports of bad behavior, but still, at the end of the day, he reported "that kid wore me out."

To which I replied, trying hard not to be smug: "Yep."

It's not easy to have to give your full attention to a tiny little person who doesn't much care if you happen to be trying to cook, or drive, or sneak a look at email, or go to the bathroom when she wants to, say, have a book read to her, or throw the ball, or climb a chair. It's physically exhausting to be constantly on the run, either for fun or to prevent calamity, and it's mentally exhausting to be a constant addresser of needs and provider of entertainment.

And then there's all the stuff -- house cleaning, work, phone-call returning, etc. -- you have to do when you finally get the little one to bed, because lord knows you didn't have time to do it while she was up.

My husband knew all that, of course, because he lives here and helps out and is involved and aware, and I'm so grateful for that -- I know well that a lot of parents have to do this on their own. But he didn't realize what it really takes until he had a taste of it, and I think it was an eye-opening experience.

"If I haven't told you you are my hero lately, there it is," he told me by text message halfway through his weekend adventure.

To which I replied: "Yep." And "thanks."

*****

If you haven't already, please take five seconds and support the Boppy Company's effort to provide Boppy Pillows to at-risk moms enrolled in the Family-Nurse Partnership program.  For every page click, $1 dollar will be donated to the program.  The goal is $20,000.  It requires no monetary donation from you.   My post from Tuesday has more details, and also gives a reader a chance to win a Boppy Pillow. 

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